talked with her after a long time..Said she is sick.. I dont know what... just hoping she is telling all these to repel me. If not i hope its not serious. Im gonna make myself available for her to get her through this
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Life as a motorcyclist
I was never a racer. I don't do bike stunts, even though i know to perform most of the stunts. I've never been into proper race. For last 3 years, i was a decent motorcyclist, as in i don't rev up my engine at all. The max speed I hit was 60, there was nothing rash, the gear ratio's were in tune. The RPM never crossed 5000, my ride got used to the gentleness. That gentleness was stemmed from my desire to live longer, for things i craved for. I thought i had a future with someone at someplace, I removed myself from living in the edge. But not anymore. I'm back to where i was, and things are as crazy an adrenaline pumped as it was.
I was never into machines when i was a kid. I was never that kid who goes through car magazines, or idolize racers. In fact i never wanted to have a vehicle for myself. Everything changed when my dad offered me a motorcycle. He got me one, not the best of lot, my beast was an "averager" on all fronts. I did not know how to drive one, so everything started with my ride, (i call me motorcycle by the name 'ride' which is self explanatory, so from here on, i would refer it as 'ride' only). I mastered in it, and as usual the addiction to speed came in to me normally. Its a trait in me, I always embrace the danger of anything in my life, maybe that explains why Im borderline rude to everything, everyone in my life. They doesn't know how much i care for them, or how worried and bothered I'm for them, in fact i keep on thinking and evaluating them/it every time in my mind. At the surface, it looks like i treat them bad, but on the long run, it becomes obvious how much i care for them. Coming back to the post, I started to embrace 100+ speeds quite often. I did not even had a license to drive a motorcycle, and to top it off, my friend who is my partner in everything, was not afraid to die just like I'm, perfect combination!
I started my adventures on highways. There was this 19 km journey from my home to my college, through the busy streets of my city as well as through highway. Everyday it was a race against time. I've never participated in any organized race, but i was always in search of race, whenever i was on road. Overtaking me was an open invite to race me, and only a few have overtaken me in my life. I consistently decimated guys who tried to show off on their motorcycle with their girlfriends, maybe it was my way of getting back at lady love for not giving me a chance, but i was particular that no lady or girl had a chance to sat behind me. I reserved that spot to a special one, which is yet to happen. My mom was and still is terrified to sit in any vehicle that's driven by me and scares away anyone who tries to sit with me on my ride, so keeping that pillion seat away from ladies is easier for me :).
I've never washed my ride. Only thing i do is to get it serviced at the right time. The only times my ride sees water is when it rains. But my ride has survived without a scratch or engine problem till now. We've been to many journeys, ranging from 100kms to 500kms. Never it have let down at any point of time. Have hit the speeds of 120+, actually i have this unique record of riding my motorcycle at 100+ with every single guys in my class. I took it as a mission,some where scared shitless :P, but most enjoyed the experience like roller coaster ride :P. At times people use me as a transporter to get them at places in minimum amount of time. My reputation of not being in any serious accidents makes me reliable for them. And i always loved being that guy, who is really good with machines. It got to that point that, people who knows me, doesn't dare to race with me.
Then things happened, i got into a serious relationship, and i declined everything that kept me on the edge. Maybe it was me maturing, i don't know, but there was not the passion to drive anymore. I became this mellow driver, who is very soft on my ride, and never crosses a certain speed limit. Still i was one among the faster drivers on road. A few manages to overtake me in those. I ditched all those revving ups, and sudden breaking, all the twist and turns, and weaving through traffic. Even my ride got used to it.
Things changed, I'm not a priority in anyone's life anymore, which again gave me the freedom to seduce with danger and death once again. And i celebrated it with my ride. I took her to everyplace i used to do overkill. Even my ride was a bit hesitant at the start, since it was not used to all those revving up for past 3-4 years, but it slowly caught up and became the monster it was before. I could almost sense like its asking me where I was all these years. Once again its potential was unleashed, and we embraced 100+ speed once more. My ride is now 7 years old, still it beats most of the other motorcycles on road. Corners separate men from boys, I've never lost grip on corners, my rides foot pegs are almost worn due to the contact with road on corners, still I've never lost grip even once. I've got this trust with my ride that, it will end only with me. Grateful to have my ride in my life!
I was never into machines when i was a kid. I was never that kid who goes through car magazines, or idolize racers. In fact i never wanted to have a vehicle for myself. Everything changed when my dad offered me a motorcycle. He got me one, not the best of lot, my beast was an "averager" on all fronts. I did not know how to drive one, so everything started with my ride, (i call me motorcycle by the name 'ride' which is self explanatory, so from here on, i would refer it as 'ride' only). I mastered in it, and as usual the addiction to speed came in to me normally. Its a trait in me, I always embrace the danger of anything in my life, maybe that explains why Im borderline rude to everything, everyone in my life. They doesn't know how much i care for them, or how worried and bothered I'm for them, in fact i keep on thinking and evaluating them/it every time in my mind. At the surface, it looks like i treat them bad, but on the long run, it becomes obvious how much i care for them. Coming back to the post, I started to embrace 100+ speeds quite often. I did not even had a license to drive a motorcycle, and to top it off, my friend who is my partner in everything, was not afraid to die just like I'm, perfect combination!
I started my adventures on highways. There was this 19 km journey from my home to my college, through the busy streets of my city as well as through highway. Everyday it was a race against time. I've never participated in any organized race, but i was always in search of race, whenever i was on road. Overtaking me was an open invite to race me, and only a few have overtaken me in my life. I consistently decimated guys who tried to show off on their motorcycle with their girlfriends, maybe it was my way of getting back at lady love for not giving me a chance, but i was particular that no lady or girl had a chance to sat behind me. I reserved that spot to a special one, which is yet to happen. My mom was and still is terrified to sit in any vehicle that's driven by me and scares away anyone who tries to sit with me on my ride, so keeping that pillion seat away from ladies is easier for me :).
I've never washed my ride. Only thing i do is to get it serviced at the right time. The only times my ride sees water is when it rains. But my ride has survived without a scratch or engine problem till now. We've been to many journeys, ranging from 100kms to 500kms. Never it have let down at any point of time. Have hit the speeds of 120+, actually i have this unique record of riding my motorcycle at 100+ with every single guys in my class. I took it as a mission,some where scared shitless :P, but most enjoyed the experience like roller coaster ride :P. At times people use me as a transporter to get them at places in minimum amount of time. My reputation of not being in any serious accidents makes me reliable for them. And i always loved being that guy, who is really good with machines. It got to that point that, people who knows me, doesn't dare to race with me.
Then things happened, i got into a serious relationship, and i declined everything that kept me on the edge. Maybe it was me maturing, i don't know, but there was not the passion to drive anymore. I became this mellow driver, who is very soft on my ride, and never crosses a certain speed limit. Still i was one among the faster drivers on road. A few manages to overtake me in those. I ditched all those revving ups, and sudden breaking, all the twist and turns, and weaving through traffic. Even my ride got used to it.
Things changed, I'm not a priority in anyone's life anymore, which again gave me the freedom to seduce with danger and death once again. And i celebrated it with my ride. I took her to everyplace i used to do overkill. Even my ride was a bit hesitant at the start, since it was not used to all those revving up for past 3-4 years, but it slowly caught up and became the monster it was before. I could almost sense like its asking me where I was all these years. Once again its potential was unleashed, and we embraced 100+ speed once more. My ride is now 7 years old, still it beats most of the other motorcycles on road. Corners separate men from boys, I've never lost grip on corners, my rides foot pegs are almost worn due to the contact with road on corners, still I've never lost grip even once. I've got this trust with my ride that, it will end only with me. Grateful to have my ride in my life!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
quotes 10-05-2013
"Creativity is the greatest rebellion against existence"
-Osho
-Osho
"Forgiveness is the best form of love"
-Reinhold Niebuhr
"Lovers dont finally meet at somewhere. They are in each other all along"
-Rumi
"Suicide is the dumber possible way of getting revenge. Why is that? Because the people you want to strike back at are the very same folks who wont even remember you a week after you are gone, while the people you want to spare most-- the people who loves you, are the ones who will have to live with the pain of your suicide for the rest of their lives."
- David J Lieberman
"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray"
-Rumi
"Suicide is the dumber possible way of getting revenge. Why is that? Because the people you want to strike back at are the very same folks who wont even remember you a week after you are gone, while the people you want to spare most-- the people who loves you, are the ones who will have to live with the pain of your suicide for the rest of their lives."
- David J Lieberman
"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray"
-Rumi
Friday, May 10, 2013
A letter to the past, present and future !
I tried to mend things with you. I know i screwed it up big time, but i tried to fix things the best way i could. I know I did leave you in the open, all by yourself, and abandoned you, but i came back, i tried to fix things, not by saying a plain sorry, but by working things out and fix everything that was broken. I was willing to change every aspect of me, the way you want, I still am, but you just pushed me away. I wanted to be back in your life, more than i wanted you to be in my life.
And now, i understand you dont want me in your life, I think i have to make peace with that, one way or another. After all, i always wanted you to be happy, that is why i left the first time, thinking i was wasting your love. Now it seems you too are convinced, maybe that is why you are pushing me away, despite all my efforts. I hope you are and will be happier without me, than when you were with me. I just hope you end up in the heights i thought you will reach, even though i may not be there with you to see where you have reached.
Maybe Im destined to live my life this way, One thing i can assure you is that, Im not letting you go because it gives me any sort of pleasure. But Im used to being miserable, Im shivering, i've hit my all time low, i dont even have the mind to speak, let alone to be wake. But i cant close my eyes, whenever i do, you comes to my mind, i cant afford to be in a dream, the idea of losing you itself is painful enough for me.
Finally, i hope everything works out for the best. I might live on in the hope of you coming back to me every single day, but I will never come to you, or disturb you. And no matter what you hear about me, good or bad, dont ever feel guilty of what happened to me or what i choose to be. You are and will not be accounted to any of the decision i made or will make. You will always remain as the best and sweetest thing that ever happened to me. Like i always say, some people does not deserve to be happy, and tragedies happens to them no matter what. This is the third time Im saying goodbye to you, and the dagger is driven more deeper each time. Im willing to do that any number times, Im willing to be vulnerable for you a hundred more time, Im willing to get stabbed over and over by you, but i want only you to stab me, not anyone else !!
Faithfully
Me
And now, i understand you dont want me in your life, I think i have to make peace with that, one way or another. After all, i always wanted you to be happy, that is why i left the first time, thinking i was wasting your love. Now it seems you too are convinced, maybe that is why you are pushing me away, despite all my efforts. I hope you are and will be happier without me, than when you were with me. I just hope you end up in the heights i thought you will reach, even though i may not be there with you to see where you have reached.
Maybe Im destined to live my life this way, One thing i can assure you is that, Im not letting you go because it gives me any sort of pleasure. But Im used to being miserable, Im shivering, i've hit my all time low, i dont even have the mind to speak, let alone to be wake. But i cant close my eyes, whenever i do, you comes to my mind, i cant afford to be in a dream, the idea of losing you itself is painful enough for me.
Finally, i hope everything works out for the best. I might live on in the hope of you coming back to me every single day, but I will never come to you, or disturb you. And no matter what you hear about me, good or bad, dont ever feel guilty of what happened to me or what i choose to be. You are and will not be accounted to any of the decision i made or will make. You will always remain as the best and sweetest thing that ever happened to me. Like i always say, some people does not deserve to be happy, and tragedies happens to them no matter what. This is the third time Im saying goodbye to you, and the dagger is driven more deeper each time. Im willing to do that any number times, Im willing to be vulnerable for you a hundred more time, Im willing to get stabbed over and over by you, but i want only you to stab me, not anyone else !!
Faithfully
Me
quotes 9-5-2013
"Dont fear failure. In great attempts, it is glorious even to fail"
-Bruce Lee
"Being honest does not get you a lot of friends. But it will get you the right ones"
-John lennon
"Some times two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together"
-Unknown
-Bruce Lee
"Being honest does not get you a lot of friends. But it will get you the right ones"
-John lennon
"Some times two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together"
-Unknown
Thursday, May 9, 2013
quotes 8-5-13
"I love because my love is not dependent on the object of love. My love is dependent on the state of being. So whether the other person changes, becomes different, because my love was never dependent on other person. My love is a state of being."
-Osho
"Your perception of me is a reflection of you"
-Unknown
"When you feel let down by someone you love, when you are angry at someone you really care, understand its the expectation that is making you uncomfortable. Let it go, if you want to let them back in your life. If they dont come back, its either they who does'nt worth you, or you dont deserve them"
-Myself
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Quotes 7-5-2013
"We may look different, but our hearts beat the same. Lets be more loving to others"
-Unknown
“You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
“My daddy said, that the first time you fall in love, it changes you forever and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
“Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if oyu planned on fallin gin love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
"If you dont control your mind, someone else will"
-John Allston
"Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all"
-Helen Keller
"Do what is right, Not what is easy"
-Unknown
"I learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is upto them"
-Unknown
-Unknown
“You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
“My daddy said, that the first time you fall in love, it changes you forever and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
“Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if oyu planned on fallin gin love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
"If you dont control your mind, someone else will"
-John Allston
"Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all"
-Helen Keller
"Do what is right, Not what is easy"
-Unknown
"I learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is upto them"
-Unknown
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