Chapter 4
And life fills me with content!
College! It was the dreamland for many. Since i had made some good friends, i was already someone before i landed there. There was already a huge circle of friends, that i knew from many places, ranging from final year to my classmates, so the integration part was easy, i was never exposed to ragging or bullying, but the college was like a strict prison!
The first year or the freshman year was a continuation of the previous two years. I never bothered about girls, never even cared to make friendship so life was happy and peaceful. My friends were tight, i scored decent marks, never got into serious troubles, everything was fun and bright. Then second year happened.
Juniors started to flow in, and myself being already familiar with most of the guys in the college, everyone thought i would be a fun partner to prey on the juniors. I never liked the concept of ragging, yet people took me with them to bully juniors, and through orkut i became friends with these two girls. They were real good friends of me. Of the two, one began to chat with me on daily basis. She was already in a relationship, and i never bothered about it, since it was not my intentions to fall for anyone. I really liked my freedom, and despised the idea of true love. My faiths were too rigid and hard laid. I became a free thinker, and became open to philosophy and started to become an atheist. And the teen hormones does'nt help the cause either. I started to become knowledgeable on things like football, general knowledge etc. People started to believe im an intellectual, truth is that im and always was far from it. It might be due to the loneliness, or my moms illness, i started reading at a young age, or because i talked less, or quoted other people or ideas so often, that people misunderstood me, i was always a shallow and hollow person without any emotional attachments still people thought i was something, and has the potential to become something else than what i was. Anyways coming back to the point, i became a good friend to her, and helped her escape from the clutches of senior students who made her a target. I risked one of my friendship to save her, one thing which i later regretted.
I used to have my lunch from a canteen outside of the college, and when i returned back all my classmates were infront of the freshman block, and a freshman was arguing with my friend. I totally lost it and got him by his collar and thrashed him to a wall. By the grace of god, nothing more happened, and everyone around jumped on me inorder to stop me. Anyways, what i did not know was, the freshman was talking to the girl i befriended, and thats when my classmates picked on him. One thing lead to another, and the whole matter looked as if, i thrashed a junior for talking to my love interest... WHAT???
Sad part is even she was convinced, and this became a huge deal in college, and petitions and complaints reached the principal and dean, and was in the make of being a criminal case. I was called for hearing multiple times, thanks to one of my friend and a nun who thought i was a good person, all the things settled but it scarred me. Accusing of something that never crossed my mind, it was hard to swallow. I was hurt, bad thing is no one understood how much that hurted my pride, i became more estranged and relied more on alcohol and smokes. Things became dark for me, and i became deluded. Getting no support when you are weak is the worst thing anyone could go through. No one understood the real me, and i never relied on anyone. And there were a lot of smoke buddies and drink buddies, it was hard for people to imagine me in normal state, i was always intoxicated, and it took its toll on my studies. Ive never liked engineering in the first place, i was never a technical person, i was more interested in fields like philosophy, psychology, history, geography, economics, law etc, and wanted to take that bad, but it fell into the deaf ears of my parents...
2 years went by in the dark alleys,i never bothered to befriend anyone other than 6-7 friends i had in class. Life was simple, filled with smoke and booze, it was fun in its own ways. In between i got a bike, and it brought another side of me. I loved risks and speed. Even before i got license i was racing around, embracing 100+ speeds, i missed accidents by centimeters, but the adrenaline rush was awesome. Then it happened, my life altering experience... The one that changed my life, my perspective, my thinking, my future everything...
And life fills me with content!
College! It was the dreamland for many. Since i had made some good friends, i was already someone before i landed there. There was already a huge circle of friends, that i knew from many places, ranging from final year to my classmates, so the integration part was easy, i was never exposed to ragging or bullying, but the college was like a strict prison!
The first year or the freshman year was a continuation of the previous two years. I never bothered about girls, never even cared to make friendship so life was happy and peaceful. My friends were tight, i scored decent marks, never got into serious troubles, everything was fun and bright. Then second year happened.
Juniors started to flow in, and myself being already familiar with most of the guys in the college, everyone thought i would be a fun partner to prey on the juniors. I never liked the concept of ragging, yet people took me with them to bully juniors, and through orkut i became friends with these two girls. They were real good friends of me. Of the two, one began to chat with me on daily basis. She was already in a relationship, and i never bothered about it, since it was not my intentions to fall for anyone. I really liked my freedom, and despised the idea of true love. My faiths were too rigid and hard laid. I became a free thinker, and became open to philosophy and started to become an atheist. And the teen hormones does'nt help the cause either. I started to become knowledgeable on things like football, general knowledge etc. People started to believe im an intellectual, truth is that im and always was far from it. It might be due to the loneliness, or my moms illness, i started reading at a young age, or because i talked less, or quoted other people or ideas so often, that people misunderstood me, i was always a shallow and hollow person without any emotional attachments still people thought i was something, and has the potential to become something else than what i was. Anyways coming back to the point, i became a good friend to her, and helped her escape from the clutches of senior students who made her a target. I risked one of my friendship to save her, one thing which i later regretted.
I used to have my lunch from a canteen outside of the college, and when i returned back all my classmates were infront of the freshman block, and a freshman was arguing with my friend. I totally lost it and got him by his collar and thrashed him to a wall. By the grace of god, nothing more happened, and everyone around jumped on me inorder to stop me. Anyways, what i did not know was, the freshman was talking to the girl i befriended, and thats when my classmates picked on him. One thing lead to another, and the whole matter looked as if, i thrashed a junior for talking to my love interest... WHAT???
Sad part is even she was convinced, and this became a huge deal in college, and petitions and complaints reached the principal and dean, and was in the make of being a criminal case. I was called for hearing multiple times, thanks to one of my friend and a nun who thought i was a good person, all the things settled but it scarred me. Accusing of something that never crossed my mind, it was hard to swallow. I was hurt, bad thing is no one understood how much that hurted my pride, i became more estranged and relied more on alcohol and smokes. Things became dark for me, and i became deluded. Getting no support when you are weak is the worst thing anyone could go through. No one understood the real me, and i never relied on anyone. And there were a lot of smoke buddies and drink buddies, it was hard for people to imagine me in normal state, i was always intoxicated, and it took its toll on my studies. Ive never liked engineering in the first place, i was never a technical person, i was more interested in fields like philosophy, psychology, history, geography, economics, law etc, and wanted to take that bad, but it fell into the deaf ears of my parents...
2 years went by in the dark alleys,i never bothered to befriend anyone other than 6-7 friends i had in class. Life was simple, filled with smoke and booze, it was fun in its own ways. In between i got a bike, and it brought another side of me. I loved risks and speed. Even before i got license i was racing around, embracing 100+ speeds, i missed accidents by centimeters, but the adrenaline rush was awesome. Then it happened, my life altering experience... The one that changed my life, my perspective, my thinking, my future everything...
No comments:
Post a Comment